English is not my first language, corrections welcome!
Bold: The characters are speaking English.
The dinner tonight was romantic, more so than anything a guy in his late-twenties like me, Phachara, could ever ask for. Looking out into the distance at the city of Bangkok beneath clear skies, the sound of the gales outside my window greeted me…
Lets stop… this was getting delusional. They say escaping to the world of dreams marks the first sign of mental illness after all. I turned back to bitterly face reality as the words of the sexy grey-eyed foreigner in front of me harshly assaulted my feelings.
“Petch, why are you even pathetic at making instant noodles?”
Hu~~~ why must you hurt my tiny, battered and bruised heart like this? What did I do wrong? I made it to this best of my ability you know. Teared the packet open, poured in boiling water, fried the garlic, black pepper, pork, chicken, two eggs, minced the celery and onion, a dash of black pepper and a bit of oyster sauce to finish. What did I do wrong, wasn’t this delicious?
The hottie stared at me and then sighed. “Is this survival food all you’ve been eating for your entire life, hm?”
“You have no right to call it survival food. Look closely, my instant noodles has all the necessary nutrients from the five food groups. There’s a high amount vitamin A, B, C, D, E, F, G, etcetera to rival eating one capsule of Centrum and a Scotch bird’s nest woi!”
(TN: Centrum and Scotch birds nest – Thai health supplements)
Pelting him with words, it appears this hottie had become significantly confused, evidenced by his perplexed face. Well, well, it looks like I’ve seen through your weakness. This guy didn’t know his vitamins! I wiggled my eyebrows and placed a hand on my hip to show who held the upper hand. “You had no idea did you? The beneficial qualities of my instant noodles.”
“Isn’t it long since past your growth spurt Petch?”
“You’ve got it wrong, eating healthy is good for nurturing the brain.”
“I see, that means your brain hasn’t fully developed then.” Why does he have that glint in his eye again. Does a conversation about health and well-being through my fantastic instant noodle recipe demand that you look like a philanderer who’s ready to eat someone whole? “You’re nice but you ramble a lot.”
Hua! Why are you picking at my faults now?
I opened my mouth to argue but was late by 0.24 seconds. “Now that you mention it, since you cooked this up for me, did you prepare anti-diarrhea medication for me as well?”
“If I had known beforehand, I would have put rat poison into your bowl. A thick-skinned foreigner like you won’t die so easily.”
Why are you laughing, I’m trying to be intimidating here!!
“I’ll say no to this meal then, bring me all of the beer in your fridge instead.” Straight-faced and nonchalant, Alexey handed the bowl of instant noodles that he had only taken four to five bites out of back to me. Hmph, I resentfully scarfed down the whole two bowls before crawling up to lay still on the sofa, stomach round and uncomfortable, barely able to move.
The hottie glanced at me and laughed. Seeing this made me annoyed, but I was too full to start an argument. Also, why did this guy have to look so handsome from all angles? “How about a beer?”
Ba, trying to invite me. Those two empty cans were a result of my sweat and tears woi.
“I’m not drinking.”
“Oh? I thought you liked alcohol.” See this? He was purposely speaking to provoke me. Despite my fullness, his offer was appealing… But no, I must maintain my image (although it may be a bit far too late now).
“Don’t want any. I’m refraining from alcohol, its Buddhist Lent.”
The hottie turned to look at me like I was some weird creature. “You must be joking. A drunkard like you? Really?”
“Yeah, I was suddenly spurred to stop drinking, got problem with that?”
Before we started to clash again, my phone suddenly rang out. I took advantage of this opportunity and hastily pressed the answer button. “Hello, this is Petch.”
“Mr. Petch, This is Sasha. Where have you been?”
The hottie seemed to had already caught on, ready to steal the phone out of my hand but I hurriedly made a pitiful voice. “Mr, Sasha, I am soree but I am at home.”
“How come!?” The voice of the handsome golden retriever conveyed utter disappointment.
“I wont to haf dinner wit you but mister Alexander said he will kill me if I don’t come back!”
“You mean Alexey? Can I talk to him? He should have known that it was a date! I asked for your number from him and explained it to him clearly!”
I whipped my head around to look at the hottie sitting beside me, sipping his beer without a care in the world. Oh how I would really love to break your nose with that can of Singha beer. Raising my voice: “Alexey!! What does this mean?!”
“Give me the phone.”
I handed it to him. Alexey sneered into the phone before speaking in rapid Russian without any sign of distress; casually drinking while talking no less. I heard the frantic voice of Sasha travel through the device, what manner of things they were talking about I had no clue. But then, Sasha the pitiful golden retriever started to laugh uncontrollably. Eventually, the hottie hung up and cocked an eyebrow at me. “All done.”
“What did you tell him!”
“You told Sasha that I was going to kill you, so I explained to him that your pipes had burst and water was seeping into my room. If you didn’t come back, the plumber wouldn’t be able to get into your room to fix the leakage. With that, it makes perfect sense as to why I would kill you if you didn’t return to the condo. Clear?”
It’s me that’s going to kill you!!!
“You have to thank me. I’m just trying to help.“
“Help ‘what’ exactly? It’s your fault that I’m back in my room eating instant noodles.”
“You’re the one who’s horrible at cooking, don’t scold me.”
“Can you stop provoking with me already!?” Livid, I launched a pillow at his face. This foreign dictator! I was definitely going to kill him! If I knew this was going to happen, I would have deflated his car tires earlier as well!
Alexey looked slightly confused after seeing me begin to act aggressively. Dear readers, please don’t accuse me of being ill mannered. If this guy clashes with me one more time, I swear I will be taking my black eye to the embassy and filing a report for physical abuse.
“Did you actually want to go on a date with Sasha?”
What date? What was he talking about?
“Since when is two guys eating together considered a date?” I returned his question, annoyed. Poking with my feet, I urged Alexey to sit still and stop being obtrusive to my sight. “In your country, can two guys not sit and eat together? Will lightning strike them? Or is hell going to open up from below and swallow them whole?” I was in a bad mood so I kept on rambling, reaching for the can of beer in front of the hottie and chugging it down.
“Weren’t you refraining from alcohol because of Buddhist Lent?”
“Are you blind? This isn’t alcohol, its beer woi!”
Alexey shook his head exasperatedly but agreed to share the sofa with me. Umu, very smart of you, that’ll teach you to respect the owner of this room.
One… two… three… four… four cans of beer.
One… two… three glasses of black label, the legit stuff.
One… two… three… another three bags of snacks.
I think I’m drunk…
But being drunk was also fun in a way…
Being drunk, that hottie and I watched football together without arguing.
Being drunk, I made some bangin’ spicy stir-fried instant noodles.
Being drunk, this hottie’s words were starting to sound pleasant to my ears.
Being drunk, this hottie seemed several times more approachable.
Also, he became twice as handsome… god is so unfair.
“Alex~ Hurry and bring me more alcohol~”
I spoke, words slurred. Tipping my can to catch the final drop of beer, I then grabbed a handful of Hanami to munch on happily. The hottie next to me didn’t move an inch, instead choosing to side-eye me as if he were my boss.
“Alex~~ Bring me more alcohol!”
Rather than listening to my orders, he lit his cigarette, taking a drag and then releasing a puff of smoke. Displeased, I stumbled to the fridge and wrenched the door open. But then this rude foreigner yanked me back. “It’s all gone, you drank everything.”
“It’s all gone~?”
“Whaaat? I chilled an entire crate…” My memory was still fine despite being drunk. “If it’s gone then go get some more from you room.” The hottie frowned. “Hmm?”
“Aren’t Russians heavy drinkers? I’m sure you guys have crates of vodka stocked up somewhere. Don’t pretend like you have no clue what I’m talking about. Come on~ I’ll even make you something else to eat.”
Alexey scratched his head, although I was unsure whether that was because he was feeling wasteful about his vodka or that he didn’t want to eat my cooking. But whatever. I staggered back to the sofa and pulled out my trusty camera, rubbing it here, caressing it there, I was suddenly in the mood to take photographs. “Hey wait, wait, Alex~ Get over here and let me take some photos of you, you’re damn hot. Come, come, all the ladies at my workplace will scream when they see you.”
“I don’t like taking photos.” He blatantly refused.
I made a pouty face. “The hell~ You d-d-don’t trust my skills? I’m a pro~”
The hottie walked away. I hung the camera around my neck and followed him like a menacing stalker. He hid in the bathroom but I stood waiting to intercept him at the door. This scene resembled the time my seniors in the politics department patiently waited for half an hour to catch a scoop of the mayor dealing in some shady business at OTK market. “You’re not getting away, c’mon you hottie let me take a photo you. Alex~”
Another reason why I liked being drunk was because I could act recklessly (more so than normal) without being condemned by those around me. I knocked on the door fervently. “Come out, come out, Alex~”
The door opened wide but the hottie still walked away. I followed. Eventually, the hottie stopped in his tracks. He crossed his arms and stood leaning against the frame of the door to my apartment with a frustrated face. “Put away the camera, I dislike it.”
“Oh my, you’re shy?”
“Are you going to put it away or not?”
“Nopeeee.” My mouth stretched into a grin and I held up the camera to eye-level. There was not enough lighting but with my skills, I could even make pigs, dogs, crows, chickens, etcetera, etcetera, you name it, look gorgeous. With this guy already so handsome, I could bump him onto the front cover any best-selling magazine overnight.
Fhup! The camera flew out of my hands without any warning. The hottie placed it down far away from my reach before turning back to smile menacingly at me who was still in a frozen state of confusion. “You’re more persistent than normal when drunk. I already told you, no photos. Saying it once doesn’t get through to you does it?”
“Admit it Alexey~ you’re not photogenic. When you get your photos taken it always turns out ugly. You’re as big as a gorilla–”
His warm lips pressed down onto mine all of a sudden. Alexey grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the door of the bathroom, body making contact on the hard surface with a bang. A sturdy arm hooked around my waist, locking it in place, while the other twisted and held one of my hands behind my back. It felt suffocating, not being able to move and at the same time having my mouth covered. A tongue slid inside as if familiar to the motions. The smell of beer and high-quality imported cigarettes melded with the taste of the feverish kiss, gradually returning my sense of reasoning from the grasps of the alcohol. My body felt both hot and cold with the assertive tongue exploring my mouth. I tried to push his tongue away, yet this made it seem as if I was reciprocating his kiss. Eventually, his offense drove me into a corner.
Jerking my head to the side, I proceeded to breathe into my lungs like my life depended on it. I looked at the tall large figure trapping me in from all sides with alarm. “What are you doing!!!”
Alexey used his pair of grey eyes to observe me, his sight conveying something unreadable. He lowered his face close, and from his vantage point he stole my lips once more, occasionally teasing them between his teeth. I used my remaining free hand to push and hit the large figure in hopes of escaping. However, the more I resisted, the more Alexey increased his strength, pinning me down till my wrist felt numb. “Hurts…”
I pleaded with my eyes…which I really shouldn’t have because it was me who became mesmerised instead. The cold grey eyes unexpectedly sucked me in, making me at a loss for words. At such a close distance I could see that a portion of his good looks resulted from these very pair of eyes. The light coloring of his eyelashes were thick and fanned out beautifully. Unable to stare for long, I was forced to avert my gaze when his sharp eyes stared back at me, strangely turning my cheeks hot.
“I’m not shy or scared of the camera Petch… don’t just assume things by yourself.”
I stared at him blankly… not surprised, not confused, but attention caught on the large palm which had slid underneath my shirt. I couldn’t move my body accordingly. Every area which made contact with Alexey’s smooth skin flared with a hot sensation. Gliding his hand over my shirt a few times, the buttons were gradually being undone one by one. I hurriedly clutched at the parted section but my reaction time was slower than my thinking speed. Before I could finish rebuttoning my shirt, his sturdy fingers had already wandered down to the zipper of my pants.
The back of Alexey’s hand brushed past the front. From just one light caress a certain part of my body started to come alive. The body which was initially about to retaliate became pliable and weak like wax to a fire when his lips started to mouth lightly at my neck, trailing down to my collarbone, before returning up to meet me in a deep rousing kiss. It set my body ablaze.
My heart was against it, never having imagined I would be doing this sort of thing with another man. However, my body acted on the contrary. When he inserted his firm leg in between mine, instead of trying to move away, my hips leaned in to receive the touch. Seeing this, the pleased Alexey peppered my face with more kisses. The large hand which was fondling around the zipper of my pants wandered inside as if in a greeting. My heart drummed violently inside my chest as I hurriedly protested with a trembling voice, yet Alexey failed to listen in the slightest.
“A-Alexey… don’t touch… take your hand out.”
Alexey defied my orders by using his hot tongue to tease at my nipples instead. I returned his kiss… discovering that a kiss tasting of cigarettes was way more enchanting that any sort of spell.
And my consciousness was no longer in control of my body. My mouth said one thing while my body said another. I told him to take his hand out… yet I was unable to do so without constantly moaning at every touch. I told him to stop touching my body… yet I obediently followed every suggestion whispered into my ear, from raising my hips to clinging to his waist. I told him not to enter… yet my body fully welcomed his hard length, not wanting to let go. How strange that I was anticipating being ravished.
Finally, with significant coaxing I became intoxicated with the searing pleasure that Alexey indulged me in through every contact. As such, I allowed him to act according to his whims. Although my body was almost split in half, feeling both uncomfortable and full to the point of not being able to breathe properly, I never thought to resist, instead patiently waiting until I relaxed enough to fully accommodate him.
The rhythm of our movements changed from excruciatingly slow to urgent. My back was rubbing up against the bathroom door, turning it sore. However, this was a minor detail when compared to the searing heat which was thrusting into my body and the stroking my front, making me feel on verge of melting.
“Ah… Petch… good..” A pleased low voice rumbled next to my ear, wretchedly seductive. Alexey whispered something in Russian that I couldn’t make out, but it was better to be biased and assume that he was enjoying this round of sex quite a lot.
Alexey relaxed his pace, slowly coming to a stop, making me feel like I was being dropped from heaven. The man kissed as if to swallow me whole. “Petch.”
“Yes…?” I looked at him, eyes pleading.
(TN: Petch uses the word ‘krub’. Although typically used to suggest politeness, this word also conveys endearment, it’s a really sweet way of answering someone.)
“You don’t like it?” My eyes met his before averting in some other direction, not willing to give an answer despite the feeling of warmth rising on both cheeks. Alexey caught on and started to move with increasing speed once again. At last, unable to withstand any longer I ducked my head into the crevice of his shoulder, suppressing the sound of my moans. Alexey asked me something in a whisper next to my ear while thrusting firmly, my body tensing with need and nearing its climax. My thoughts were jumbled and blurry, the only thing that was clear however was that I wanted to stretch this moment out endlessly. The cunning man who was in control of my body likely figured out my thoughts for he began to move more forcefully. Feeling as if my heart was about to burst, I cried out, telling him to stop.
“…No, don’t do that.”
“Weren’t you urging me on moments ago? Hmm… Petch?”
I tried to contain my need but my body couldn’t be controlled.
“Why don’t you let your mouth align with your heart already…? Just admit that you like it…”
“Don’t move… ah… ah… I… I… li-…”
The rough voice which whispered beside my ear tore all sense of control into shreds.
“Show me how you feel…good boy… Say it… Do it…“
“Alexey… Alexey… ah… ahh…”
The feeling of release was pure bliss, as if my soul ascended to heaven alongside Alexey. Yet, this grey-eyed man was someone who I knew next to nothing about.
I realized that drinking with Alexey was a horribly bad decision to the point where I wanted to jump off the condo and die with my head hitting the cement pavement as soon as I opened my eyes to an empty bed. Nearby sat a newspaper, ‘The Nation’ folded neatly despite traces of being read, as well as an empty coffee mug.
On top of the white pillow (which of course I only had one of) was a cream-colored post-it note which said the following.
‘See you at the embassy -Alexey’
‘P.s. Call 02-267-0xxx. Madam Yelena will help you prepare the correct visa documents.’
‘P.p.s. Follow up on the key card console issue for me too.’
I read it over two to three times, scrunched up the note and threw it away. What kind of heartless person just ‘does it’ and leave? This was clearly a nail and bail situation. Although I understood his good intentions in the first p.s. … why didn’t you tell me this two days ago?
Eh? two days ago…
I only just got to know this hottie two days ago… Fourty-eight hours ago…
I lost my virginity to this guy after not even three days of knowing him?!
I reached for my phone and hastily dialed the most recent number. After not even five seconds a familiar frigid voice picked up the call. “What’s up Petch.”
“Where are you?”
“Today is Wednesday and it’s eight-thirty, so of course I’m at work.” His tone as if accusing me of something. “What business do you have with me? I’m about to enter a conference.”
“…” Oh yeah, what business did I have calling him on impulse like this? Dunno. But I think I was hoping that this guy would at least take some responsibility for my body which had just lost its virginity, is that so much to ask!
“Nothing? Alright see you.”
“Don’t you dare end the call!”
“Sure, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be answering you. Hurry up and sort yourself out, I expect to see you here at ten.” Hua! Am I being threatened by the embassy staff? Being forced to apply for a visa??? Alexey didn’t leave me to wonder for long and quickly continued. “But call Yelena first. If you arrive with the wrong documents for a second time, that’ll be a problem.”
Nailed and bailed.
Nailed and scolded.
Nailed and mentally abused.
“I’m not going. I’ve had it woi! Fuck getting a visa for this crazy country, I’m going to Russia instead.”
“I’m not telling you to come here because of the visa.” Alexey snarled into the phone, sending chills down my spine. “Take responsibility for what you’ve done to my BMW. Or else… I will kill you.”
Huu! I’m so dead!
The R-18 scenes were edited out from the online raws, but I’ve re-included them using my physical copy of the book.